The Practice of Free Writing

Write through your pain

At Growing Home, we listen to our pain, its echoes, the silence of after It happened—whatever It may be.

If you have a Before and an After, an It you are trying to understand—I invite you to take a seat with us.

WELCOME

to a sanctuary for those who suffer

From left to right: the progression in handwriting of a free-write

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How to Practice Free Writing

1. Set a timer for five minutes.

2. Write something.

3. Do not stop writing, until the time is up.

These are the only rules.

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My counselor calls it stream of consciousness writing.

Shannon K. Evans

called it Morning Pages. I call it free writing.

The point: write without inhibition. Write until you are free. Free of your self-preserving layers. Free from anyone, including you, censoring the truth inside you.

Doesn’t that sound thrilling? Doesn’t that sound like Freedom?

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To say the practice of free writing saved my marriage is no hyperbole. On a dark (probably rainy) night in Western Canada, a few weeks before we would leave the hell hole that was our basement suite, I drove alone to the Tim Horton’s across the highway. With a vanilla latte in hand, music in my ears, I started in.

I scribbled

and scribbled

and scribbled and

scribblescribblescribbled—

until I could scribble no more, for the cramp in my hand. For having said all I needed to say.

My scribbling, an ugly picture. An x-ray of my chest.

Word vomit, if I ever saw it. For comparison, note my normal handwriting to the left.

Across four pages, I wrote through layers of self-preservation until, finally, black tendrils of bitterness unfurled out of my body.

I left liberated of this inky vine put down on the page.

I returned to the bloody basement.

I returned to My Life. The one I chose with Jay, my husband. The one I loved.

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Writing through. Writing until. Writing free.

I’ve discussed this liberating practice with many people, including a dear friend who has persisted through many traumas. After a recent encounter with an old enemy, this friend started journaling again. She texted me a photo of her new journal’s cover and shared her free writing experience:

“I didn’t realize how much stuff I needed to say to myself and the Universe without anyone else knowing or reading my words. I saw myself again for a small moment in time, and I tried with all my will, to love her, before the moment slipped away.”

You know how they say integrity is what you do when no one is watching? Free writing is a internal practice of integrity. You come to the page and say: No one is listening. No one is watching. What do I need to say? Then, you put your pen to the page. You write you write you write through self-distraction, self-distrust, self-deceit—until, finally, you emerge.

The parts of you needing love.

The parts of you beyond words.

The truest parts of you.

The truth.

My friend poignantly concluded,

“Sometimes I tell myself that I lost me completely—but that’s not true—I’m just hidden among layers, fighting to resurface again—in different ways of becoming.”

Free writing will require a sacrifice. It will ask for your burdens, your limited perspective, your pain. You must lay them down on the page. And then, hidden among these layers, yourself will resurface and return, free.

Are you ready? I’ll show you the way, and leave you to it.

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There are no prerequisites for free writing. You don’t need any special materials. You don’t need any formal training, no writing expertise. You don’t need all the words.

To Free Write:

1. Set a timer for five minutes, or decide to write until you have nothing left to say. Whichever makes the most sense for you now, as you begin.

2. Then, start writing something. Anything. Stay with your thoughts, wherever it is they are right now. Let them lead you in.

3. Do not pick up your pen. Do not worry about misspellings, coherence, or editing as you go. This is not the place for perfection but freedom.

If you get stuck—

Repeat words. Draw letters or pictures. Write write write.

If you need a prompt—

Consider my friend’s conclusion. Have you “lost [yourself]”? Have you lost someone else? Have you lost some thing?

Start here.

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After your five minutes is up (or you feel you’ve said all), take a breath. How do you feel? If you’d like, share any reflections on the experience of free writing. How would you describe it, in one word? Hit reply to this email, or the button bellow.

In the comments, I will post my free-write from this week and my reflection on it, as example.

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Once a month in the week following our word study, I’ll guide you through a constructive free writing prompt, which will build on this basic foundation of free writing. I’m excited to share these practices which have saved my life.

Which is what we’ll cover next week. I’ll share one part of my story by responding to the simple phrase, “What Saved Me,” giving attention to a specific “What”—a thing, like my sweatshirt.

Until then—

Take care.

CJS

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Thanks for listening with me.

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